Mental HealthSupporting Someone with Depression: What to Do & What to Avoid

Supporting Someone with Depression: What to Do & What to Avoid


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Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Supporting a loved one or friend who is struggling with depression can be challenging, but it’s essential to offer understanding, empathy, and practical help. However, there are also common pitfalls to avoid, as certain actions can inadvertently worsen the person’s condition or strain your relationship with them. In this guide, we’ll explore what not to do when supporting a depressed person, offer actionable steps for providing support, provide educational information about depression, and discuss the importance of maintaining boundaries.

1. Avoiding Harmful Actions:

Depression is not something that can be easily “snapped out of,” and dismissive comments like “just be happy” or “it’s all in your head” are not only unhelpful but can also be hurtful. Such phrases invalidate the person’s feelings and minimize the seriousness of their condition. Similarly, toxic positivity, which involves relentlessly focusing on the positive and ignoring or downplaying negative emotions, can make the person feel misunderstood and isolated.

Comparisons and minimizing are also damaging. Avoid saying things like “others have it worse” or “you’ll get over it.” Each person’s experience with depression is unique, and comparing their struggles to others’ or trivializing their feelings only adds to their distress. Furthermore, blaming the person for their condition or making them feel guilty is counterproductive and can exacerbate their symptoms.

Giving unsolicited advice is another common mistake. While your intentions may be good, offering solutions or trying to “fix” the person without their consent can come across as condescending and dismissive. Instead of offering advice, focus on listening to their concerns and offering empathy and support.

2. Offering Supportive Actions:

Active listening is one of the most powerful ways to support someone with depression. Give them your full attention, without interrupting or judging. Let them express their feelings without feeling rushed or invalidated. Sometimes, simply being heard can provide immense relief.

Validation and empathy are crucial. Let the person know that you hear them, understand their pain, and empathize with what they’re going through. You don’t have to have experienced depression yourself to show empathy; simply acknowledging their feelings and offering a compassionate ear can make a significant difference.

Offer practical help whenever possible. Depression can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming, so offering to run errands, help with chores, or provide meals can be incredibly supportive. Be specific in your offers of assistance, as vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything” may not be acted upon.

Encourage the person to seek professional help. Depression is a medical condition that often requires professional treatment. Offer to help them research therapists or support groups in their area, and reassure them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, so make sure to prioritize your own well-being. Set boundaries to protect your own mental health, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

3. Educational Information:

Understanding depression is essential for providing effective support. Depression is not simply feeling sad or down; it’s a serious mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness. Other symptoms may include changes in appetite or sleep patterns, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, and difficulty concentrating or making decisions.

There are different types of depression, including major depressive disorder, persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia), bipolar disorder, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and postpartum depression, among others. Each type may have its own unique symptoms and triggers.

Treatment options for depression vary depending on the severity and individual needs of the person. Psychotherapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy (IPT), can be highly effective in treating depression. Medications, such as antidepressants, may also be prescribed in some cases. Lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and stress management techniques, can also help alleviate symptoms.

4. Maintaining Boundaries:

While it’s important to offer support to someone with depression, it’s equally important to take care of your own well-being. Set boundaries to protect yourself from becoming overwhelmed or burnt out. Recognize when you need to take a step back and prioritize your own needs.

It’s essential to recognize your limitations. You cannot “fix” someone with depression, and it’s not your responsibility to do so. Encourage the person to seek professional help if needed, and remind them that you are there to support them, but you are not a substitute for professional treatment.


In conclusion, supporting someone with depression requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Avoiding harmful actions such as dismissive comments, toxic positivity, and giving unsolicited advice is crucial. Instead, focus on offering supportive actions such as active listening, validation, practical help, and encouragement to seek professional treatment. Educating yourself about depression and maintaining healthy boundaries are also essential aspects of providing effective support. Remember that supporting someone with depression is a journey, and it’s okay to seek support for yourself along the way.


What are the don’ts when trying to connect with a person with depression?

Avoid dismissing their feelings, offering unsolicited advice, or minimizing their struggles. Also, refrain from blaming them for their condition or expecting them to simply “snap out of it.” Instead, offer genuine support and understanding.

What to not say to a person who is sad?

Avoid phrases like “just cheer up” or “it could be worse,” as they may invalidate their feelings. Also, refrain from comparing their situation to others’. Instead, offer empathetic responses and validate their emotions without judgment.

What is the best thing to do when someone is sad?

Offer your presence and support without trying to fix their feelings. Listen actively, validate their emotions, and offer practical help if needed. Encourage them to seek professional support if necessary and assure them that they’re not alone in their struggles.

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