Nearly half of men in relationships are keeping financial secrets — and it’s taking a toll on their mental health, relationships, and self-worth.
A recent survey of 2,000 men, conducted by Talker Research for Beyond Finance during Men’s Mental Health Month, revealed that 60% of men in relationships have hidden some part of their financial lives from their partners. The most common secrets include hidden savings accounts (14%), undisclosed spending (13%), and secret credit cards or lines of credit (12%).
Why Are Men Hiding Money Troubles?
The study found that the top reasons for secrecy were embarrassment (27%), shame (26%), and not knowing how to bring it up (19%). One of the core issues behind this secrecy is pressure — 48% of men feel a need to be financially successful, with over half saying that pressure comes from within. Others say it’s driven by societal expectations that men should be strong providers.
“This survey confirms what we’ve long suspected — men are suffering in silence when it comes to money,” said Lou Antonelli, COO at Beyond Finance. “Financial anxiety is isolating, and many men don’t feel safe opening up.”
The Link Between Finances and Mental Health
The survey clearly showed a strong connection between financial stress and mental health. Men who rated their financial health as “poor” (1 out of 5) also had the lowest mental health scores — averaging just 2.8. In contrast, those with “excellent” financial health rated their mental health at a much higher 4.6.
Still, 20% of men said they wouldn’t talk to anyone about money, not even close friends or family. Fewer than half (41%) said they’d talk to their partner. Only 23% would consider speaking to a financial expert. Even fewer would confide in friends (19%) or parents (12% to their mom, 11% to their dad).
Money Stress Hurts Friendships Too
Financial issues also affect how men connect socially. 40% said their money problems made them feel isolated from friends. Among those with poor financial health, 69% reported feeling disconnected, compared to just 27% of those with better finances. Many men also avoid friendships that make them feel financially insecure — 37% say they steer clear of people who seem better off.
Experts Say It’s Time for Men to Open Up
Financial therapist Nathan Astle from Beyond Finance said the findings highlight a cultural problem: “Men are emotionally overwhelmed by money, yet afraid to seek help. Shame, secrecy, and silence are causing real harm — not just to their wallets, but to their mental health and relationships.”
Astle stressed that the goal isn’t perfection. “It’s about giving men permission to be honest about where they’re at — and helping them build a healthier, more hopeful path forward.”
Key Takeaways:
- 60% of men in relationships keep financial secrets.
- Shame and pressure to succeed are major causes.
- Poor financial health often leads to poor mental health.
- Many men feel too embarrassed to ask for help.
- Experts urge men to talk more and seek support.
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